Addicted

I do believe I am addicted to you
I have been home from visiting you for a week now and I still need to call and talk to you everyday
It has always been hard to leave you and come home alone but this time seems worse.
We had 3 weeks to ourselves we talked we cried we made love we walked sat near the bon fire hugged and it was so wonderful.
A lot of truths were spoken not all of them easy to hear or say
Yet I believe it made us closer but I also believe it made me addicted to you.

I have always loved you and needed you
Always felt like I would die without your love
But this is something I don't even understand and as you know I understand myself very well
I understand why I do the things I do but not this
I don't know why I can no longer get through a day without speaking to you.
What has changed in me that I so need to hear you say my name on the phone or just to know you are on the other end of the line.
It is not how I have ever reacted before I have gone to visit you at least 10 times and usually within a week I kind of get back to knowing I can get through a day without calling you.
But not this time
I feel lost with out you
We have been through so much together and I know in my heart we will be together again whether its here or in Mexico.

But none of that explains what is going on inside of me
Its like I just can't get enough of you.
After we talk on the phone I have to stop myself from calling you back
Maybe its all my body and mind can take we have been apart almost 6 yrs. now
Maybe I just can't physically handle being away from you anymore.

I think I need you now more than ever!
I love you!
And I miss you so much I can't even begin to explain
I love you Martin!