Day 1474
I am feeling so scared
I feel like I am surrounded by evil
I have to be on guard at all times.
I go to work everyday warring if this is the day
I am living almost in the same world I lived in before I met you
All the mentally ill homeless people, the drug abusers, prostitutes
I am surrounded by thieves and murders.
I am scared again.
I stopped using my survival instincts when I fell in love with you
But now your gone and I am in a cess pool
I am so scared of something happening before I am in your arms
I don’t want to fight to survive again
I am too tired for that
You taught me to want to survive
You gave me something to survive for
So now I must do that
But I am so tired
I want not to worry about the homeless man in the bus stop
I want to worry what you want for dinner
I don’t want to worry about that girl out front trying to find a customer
I want to worry about you

I don’t want to judge them or what they are doing
I want to be in your arms again so I must
I don’t want to end up a dead body on Colfax Ave.
All I want in my life is to be with you
To be a family together again
All I want is for you to be here holding me again.
I love you