Missing you

I have missed you from day one of this ordeal. Now however it seems to be getting worse, I am not sure if its because of my health getting worse or the dire circumstances of whats going on in our everyday lives here but it all seems to be spinning out of control. As if I ever had control, but that's neither here nor there. You have always been the first thing I think about in the morning when I wake and the very last thing I think of as I fall to sleep, and all through the day. Yet lately not even hearing your voice on the other end of the phone seems to help the pain I feel. I feel so alone and lost without you. I pray every night that we will be together again soon yet my prayers seem to fall on deaf ears. I know my health would improve if you were here just to be held by you would do wonders for me, the rest would just be icing on the cake. I need this bullshit to come to an end I need the judges to make up their minds. How long can it take for 3 people to make a decision in a week it will be 4 months since the court hearing and yet there is no answer our live being lived in limbo. It is not acceptable to me those old think they know it all judges need to answer. We are now in our 6th year apart I have never been able to speak to anyone who has any power to change the law that rips families like ours apart. I really want to speak to someone who matters and let them know what this has done to us all of us. I wonder if they could handle all we have been through? I doubt it! To walk around feeling hollow because the one person you love is thousands of miles away yet you have to go through the motions of your life. Walking around in so much pain you feel as though you will burst out crying at anytime. Sitting with you kids watching television but not even paying attention because your mind is thinking of only one thing. Where is the man I feel in love with and why cant he be here holding me helping me through this. No I think most of them would not make it through this yet because of them I have to. What bullshit!
I miss you
I love you.