August 9, 2008

I am feeling like I am letting you down.
When we spoke today and you asked if I had eaten and I told you it was too early for me to eat.
And you told me that you were eating your fathers eggs again.
I wish I had money to send you, I know you are hungry and when I make dinner for the kids I feel almost guilty, I know they have to eat but then I think about you there hungry and me unable to send you money at this time I feel like I have let you down.
You tell me that you know the kids and I need the money and not to send it to you but I know you need it also.
I know what it is like to be hungry, my years of living on the streets taught me how it feels to be hungry.
I remember going days without food, and to this day it still amazes me that people would offer to buy me a beer before food.
Before I met you Gordo was the only person who would look for me to see if I had eaten, then you came and took me off the streets and I never went hungry.
I think that is the reason I feel so bad about not being able to send you money at this time.
You did so much for me and always made sure I was taken care of.
I will find work and I will be able to help you again until you are able to get back here
This I promise, I don't care if I have to clean toilets.
We are nearing the end of this and I am not about to lose the things I have worked so hard to keep.
I love you and miss you so much!