Proud of Me

You tell me you are proud of me.
When I ask you why you answer
You know how much pain my body is in and I keep working when they call.
That I am a good mother, that I am strong for going through this.
Well I am proud of you
I have always thought you were strong and seeing what you have gone through these last five years has only made me know I was right about you from the start.
You have changed in many ways these last five years though you are not the same man I married.
I think you talk more now but that's probably because you are so lonely, and you talk about your feeling which talking to you before was like pulling teeth.
You tell me I love you much more than before, but on our last visit when you explained that I have been the only person to ever say those words to you made me understand your not saying it that often.
Your more tolerant of my mood swings, not saying you like seeing me go through them but you seem to understand why I go through them
I hope its not because you are getting as crazy as I always have been, maybe its being together for 18 years.
But the main thing that has changed about you is you cry,
the only time I had ever seen you cry was when each of our kids were born.
And you and the kids have always made fun of me because of how easy I cry, at movies, news on tv, or just reading something sad.
I have never felt bad or embarrassed for crying I have always been like that it my heart feels more than most peoples its nothing to be embarrassed of and I am glad to see that you do have tear ducts.
Crying does not make you less of a man it only makes you more human.
So I am proud of you
For staying strong while going through hell
For not giving up
For being a GREAT husband and father even 1800 miles away.
For keeping me strong when I feel like giving up.
We will get through this together I will rely on your strength and you can rely on my heart.
I love you and miss you.